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Other What's ruining your life right now?

Discussion in 'General' started by TheMusician, 28 Oct 2009.

  1. legoman

    legoman breaker of things

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  2. Mr_Mistoffelees

    Mr_Mistoffelees The Lunatic on the Grass.

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  3. Almightyrastus

    Almightyrastus Rule #9

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    Feeling grotty. Constant low, dull headache going up behind my ears and sinus pain in my forehead (almost feels a bit like caffeine withdrawal - it's not) . Feeling a little nauseated and keep going warm, in fact I have my fan on in the office whilst some others have their little heaters on (company cheaped out on the heating pumps when everything was replaced after 6 of the 9 boilers had become condemned over the years and the water doesn't flow enough to reach the radiators in this part of the building...). Yorkshire tea - biscuit brew is helping though, but I have run out of paracetamol.
     
  4. DeadP1xels

    DeadP1xels Music Enthusiast

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    Constantly picking up pieces day in day out, partner is going through a period of ill health. while a lot of it can’t be helped another big portion can... She’s completely negligent when it comes to calling a doctor. She’s prone to kidney infections but barely ever drinks a glass of water, moans of headaches because she’s dehydrated because distinct of lack of water. Her mental health is deteriorating rapidly because she’s so focussed on everyone and everything else she forgets herself, she plays this strong mental support blanket but in fact causes more harm than good, and the things she does concern herself with aren’t even worth mentioning....

    but it’s okay because I’m here... I can blagg work off at a moments notice, I can effectively be a single parent because you’ve failed to drink water all day of take an antibiotic, I can do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, DIY, meet all financial obligations, work full time, scrimp, save and bend over backwards to keep this ship sailing...

    But the thing that really cheeses me off most of all is it’s never enough, constantly whinging the house is untidy, we never have quite enough food, we never have date nights, we’re always skint.... like I actually have capacity to take anymore on?? like I have the energy, money or mental capacity to sit down and pretend like I’m relaxed and all is fine in front of a meal I can’t afford?? I’ve aged years in the last month... I can’t wait to get out of this spiral.

    I need a drink.
     
  5. Vault-Tec

    Vault-Tec Green Plastic Watering Can

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    This might sound a bit strong and some may argue a little harsh but you're not a charity mate.

    That sounds just like my ex. Wanted carrying and sucked every bit of life and joy out of me. To the point I took a whole pack of sleeping tablets just to get away from her.

    If YOLO is true then it's too short to live like that. Especially if you're reasonably quite happy in general. I may be a lot of things but I try. I'll always fight my mental illnesses for every laugh and smile I can get.

    Sounds like she's given up.
     
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  6. Scroome

    Scroome Well-Known Member

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    I'll second this.

    No-one can maintain being a parent, lover, chef, cleaner, sole bread winner and constant emotional supporter for someone who (from the sounds of things) isn't returning any of that, in kind.

    It will ultimately take you down, and fast.

    Have you tried talking to her about your concerns (as above)?

    If you don't feel she will listen, or provide the support you need, then it's time to have a good long think about what you feel you need to do, in order to be happy again.
     
    IanW, Vault-Tec, Pete J and 1 other person like this.
  7. DeadP1xels

    DeadP1xels Music Enthusiast

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    I've sat down and said bluntly she needs to take more responsibility for her own health and be pulling in my direction, because currently I'm parenting her and I don't want to be the one moaning until I'm black and blue in the face. Stop making issues that don't need to be made and just work with me because I'm trying to keep us afloat... but while she acknowledges a lot of this at the time it feels like it goes in one ear and out the other!

    She knows these things, its like she enjoys the sympathy of it all... People fussing over her. I don't want to make her look like a bad person because she's really not and a lot of this stems from her upbringing, If I'm unwell, straight to the doctor, medication, rest, job done. When she's unwell, ooooodles of sympathy, thousands of self diagnosis from family experts all these horror stories, demands to see different doctors to do different tests because she couldn't possibly have this simple thing she's left to fester... and suddenly she's this health anxious beast.... nothing is ever right because cousin A and aunty B said this.... sophisticated advice from the unemployed jobs worth!!!

    Then she becomes so short sighted at the fact I'm run ragged putting out all these fires for the sheer fact I want my son to have the stability I had when I grew up and not the car crash she had...

    I'm doing this for him.
     
  8. Byron C

    Byron C No liability accepted as a result of this post

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    Remember when this happened?

    And on the same day I said this?

    Yeah, 6 weeks to the day and all that's happened is that some sticky-backed plastic has been stuck on it and taped down. That was done on the same day, so there has been literally no progress in 6 weeks.
     
  9. Vault-Tec

    Vault-Tec Green Plastic Watering Can

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    I can promise you now that if she's like that nothing you can do is going to help your son. You could turn yourself inside out and be hung drawn and quartered but eventually you have to face facts.

    You can only push so far dude. Like, my sister in law is lovely but she has lupus. She's constantly very ill and my brother does all of the hard work. when she was in the ICU twice my brother worked all day, then 2 hour train journey to see her then 2 hour home then cook dinner and collapse basically. Repeat for months. Now? Now she's a hypochondriac and runs him ragged taking her to the hospital all the time.

    Three days ago my brother got to work and had a breakdown. He literally froze at the gate, said "nope, not doing this" got in his car and buggered off. Funny thing is that's what I've done my whole life. He's always been strong, but the constant battering of what she's been going through plus all of the crap he has to do has led to him completely breaking down. He's quit his job (first time he's ever walked away from a job) and is now taking pills.

    As I said, you can be a martyr all you like but eventually it's gonna come crashing down. No one is super human.
     
  10. perplekks45

    perplekks45 LIKE AN ANIMAL!

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    I know he's controversial but I would like to refer you to chapter two of Jordan Peterson's book '12 Rules for Life' which is aptly named 'Rule 2: Take care of yourself, the way you would take care of someone else'. I think this is something most of us tend to know yet ignore when somebody close to our heart is in need.
     
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  11. legoman

    legoman breaker of things

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    Report from the local bike place, they wont face the frame mount as the actual mounts are twisted, in other words someone welded it wrong to start with. Now the fun of returns...
     
  12. Jeff Hine

    Jeff Hine Nothing special

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    Ouch... new (well; replacement) frame?
     
  13. Mr_Mistoffelees

    Mr_Mistoffelees The Lunatic on the Grass.

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    Have you got a written report from the local bike place?
     
  14. Jeff Hine

    Jeff Hine Nothing special

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    That would certainly assist your return case...
     
  15. legoman

    legoman breaker of things

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    Yeah, well one step better, report from a frame builder and details on exactly how far out it is, thankfully its an ebay purchase so its cut an dry, only snag is I cut the steerer
     
  16. The_Crapman

    The_Crapman Don't phone it's just for fun.

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    Op number 3 this morning for some injections into nerves. Let's see what gets f'd up this time. :sigh:
     
  17. legoman

    legoman breaker of things

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    Oven died, element went bang took the fan it sits behind and the grill with it. Not impressed
     
  18. goldstar0011

    goldstar0011 Well-Known Member

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    We can rebuild it, we have the technology.

    I salvaged a decent oven that was "broke", replaced elements and fans much cheaper than buying an oven.
    Worth a punt if you're comfortable with the work
     
  19. Mr_Mistoffelees

    Mr_Mistoffelees The Lunatic on the Grass.

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    All depends on how well it has been designed, to make repair difficult. Our old one, Cannon by Hotpoint (ie Whirlpool), had a number of minor problems but, we just gave up on it and bought an AEG.

    Just to replace the main oven door catch, would necessitate removing both oven doors, lifting the hob, removing the control panel and then removing the entire front panel. All because the catch was screwed on to the inside of the front panel instead of the outside. Rather like changing headlight bulbs on a modern car...
     
    Last edited: 18 Oct 2019
  20. legoman

    legoman breaker of things

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    Yeah its an old one, the element is retained behind the fan which has a filter (rubbish design) looks like the fan helped spit parts of the element through the filter so I have bits of melted element burnt into the oven. Replacing is far easier and solves the problem of burnt element bits in the oven, plus when it was working it was rubbish had significant cold spots
     

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