Other What's ruining your life right now?

I'm livid mate, was looking forward to putting the new card in

 

DofE Silver tomorrow.

A large number of friends are currently in Berlin.

Little motivation.

Joy.

 

It was exactly the same as that, Although the turn out was much bigger this year.. so It was 1000 guests and family members watching, plus the 300 Year11's who attended prom.

It went fine though

 

That makes alot more sense

Yeh we had nothing like that either

 

Really struggling without geekhack. #fail

 

I deleted it from my Tapatalk apps, too painful to keep seeing the name!

 

For years I’ve been 'That guy' everybody has turned to for help be it problem solving or aid. I seem to nuke my personal gain to help others succeed. I got crap A-levels because I helped others achieve there goals, my degree is less than desired because I hand built other peoples projects and proofed/re-wrote vast sections of other peoples thesis's, they all went on to get 1st I got a 2:2 in affect I’ve got a 2:2 and 3 1st's but I can't count them.

After I left uni an old college friend I hadn't spoken to in years came out the blue and helped me find work, only after 6 months to find out he had done it for personal gain at the company. We were close for those 6 months but after his pay review he's not spoken to me on a social level or even work to that matter. I've gone freelance since then, but I hate it however its a means to an end.

In reality I am a complete hypocrite, I trained as a Product/Industrial Designer which is strongly linked to consumerism which in turn I hate, I hate it with a passion I hate the very fact that the industry is based on producing a half arsed attempt at a product just to sell the next one in 6 months. Its not as if said product is failing to do its job there just abandoned for the next shiny object, phones being a major part of consumerism. (Throw away culture)

I love to design and improve the ethos of a product concept but the culture just isn't right for what I want and the fat money making cats don't want to break it even thought its broken.

I need to reboot myself but I don't have the means to, and as I am the one people turn to, I have to turn a forum of geeks that I've shared this humble home with for the last 7 years, which in some ways has changed since the merge with CPC. (However I have seen some nice new changes occuring )

I just need some fresh air...

 

On a happier note, it feels actually pretty good to hold a paycheck after being unemployed almost a half a year, but also it feels somewhat depressing, working as a security guard ain't my dream, but it's something I can do if there ain't nothing better, but not for rest of my life (+ I'm very picky about the location and task I'm doing, haven't never done any regular security guard duties in a supermarket/mall, and I won't).

But more to the point, soon I'm 22, sure it's not much but when you think about it, it's about 1/4th of your lifespan, yeah not much really and I sure have much to see in my life still, but considering that I haven't got myself into university yet, and I'm living with my parents still (which I've been trying to get off, but as I said, I don't have any decent job I would like to stay for any longer than 6-12months).

If I get into university, I'll definitely get off this city and move to my own aparment, I applied for Economics - Financial Management (whatever might the exact english terms be) which I've been very interested for a few years now, but the level is rather high what I've seen from the last years test results from universities, so I don't keep my hopes too high, propably I just have to move to other city and start seeking for better job opportunities, just don't know what should I look for. Financial management/Stock trading/Investing is something I think I would really like to do, or working with server/computer hardware, but both asks for somekind of degree or qualification which I don't have. Being enthusiast with PCs or having a short personal investing/trading track-record isn't really something companies even notices or wants to hear.

And don't get me wrong, plus that I have the qualification to work as a security guard, I've gone trough a vocational qualification in aircraft maintenance (Helicopter Technician), but as you might know, being 15 or 16 years old and deciding what you want to be when you are old, really doesn't work... But sure I would enjoy few aspects of that job still, but I haven't got trough, thou' I've been continually applying for open positions which intrest me, but no luck. Though that doesn't suprise me as Finnair is pretty much dying and moving all the maintenance to Asia and other places as they are trying to make savings all the time -> all (experienced) working force positioned in Finland is looking for a better place to go, like Patria and smaller companies. Sure I could work in other country, but I'm not really that much into aircraft maintenance that I would do something that big, so it seems to be kind of a death end.

Also most of my friends have moved to other cities, thou' in the summer few of them are here, but they work too, so really don't have too much time to spend with them, which also is little bit depressing even when I'm considered to be a rather unsocial person (so that should not bother me right?) And when there is time to hang out with the friends, they usually wanna open more than few beers and drink their head off, not very interesting I must admit, gettin' old or something as drinking to get drunk doesn't seem to intrest me so often, thou it's good to take the pressure off sometimes.

Also my project haven't really moved too much for the last 4months or so, just little bits and pieces I have acquired and made some plans, but not much more. And now as I have work to do also, the motivation to work on a project is less than nothing. Thou' pretty much what I do on the days off is sitting here and checking forums 24/7 and playing little bit BF3 or WoT, so basicly just being bored.

Maybe it's just summer that makes me so depressed and worried about everything. At least I should know the results from the university in few weeks, so fingers crossed for that. Maybe that will give that little boost I need to get my life going again (if I get in), meeting new people and all that fancy shiznit (though knowing that it's university and students tend to use huge ammounts of alcohol, I might have to do little sacrifices or just be bit more unsocial and stay out from most of the parties).

Just random rambling about how everything ain't so nice in life, written with horrible enllgkish.

 

Keyboards.

 

I can't seem to get this mix right, i know 40% is my inexpirience and its just going to take time understanding signal processing and effecting eqing (books on the way).
The other 60% being there not in the correct place and im not going to have the money to get the stands so im stuck with studio monitors with the sweet spot between at the centre of my ribcage..., somehow me producing electronic music has spread without me saying or doin anything im super self concious because i never have high expectations of what i do, i don't like people trying to get involved when im not happy with the results quite yet.

I know what im trying to achieve and when you have rough ideas nobody can visualize that, at the same time as really you're trying to get it right without somebody chucking random stuff that makes no sense into the grand scheme of things.
Its gotten down to the nitty gritty of scuplting sounds from scratch and tweaking eqs to very minute frequency differences, which i still can't do without getting the right monitorng position.

Im getting messages from people i have'nt spoken to in years asking about it, my dad telling me i should send it out and its what he thinks i should get into, now im feeling under pressure to not make something crap which im pretty good at .

Work super crap shift to make up some lost time, when closing up im practically going to be incharge... its stupid theres people that will be their first time ever and i have to show them the ropes while doing the job for them aswell.

Most pointless rant ever but im stressed out with everything and now even the stuff i enjoy doing people want to **** around in.

 

accidental double post

 

Dr.Alban is here to help.

 

Just thought... This rain because i could be putting my bike back together...

Then realised... I removed the ignition which in turn removed the steering lock... meaning i can wheel it around to the undercover garage and fix it there... without getting drenched.

 

Have you finally been buried under a pile of heavy mechanical keyboards?

 

Just came back to work after six weeks of rest from surgey, to find out that my boss is off today and so is my other team mate, leaving me the only one here.

It's the start of the month, so masses of work to do and I get it all to my self

 

Woke up way too early from a particularly bad nightmare and then couldn't sleep, still thick with flu, stepped in dog sh*t on the way out of the house, spend 3 hours at work figuring out how something works - only to have the boss show me how in 2 minutes.

And then to top it all off I find out a friend of mine died today


gonna down half a bottle of vodka and hope the pain goes away.

Heres hoping....

 

Oh the letter came from the university, not even a change to get into Economics, and if nine accepted students cancel or move the start of studies by one year, I'll get into Information Technology, which really suprised me... Google better start warming a place for me in their new shiny datacenter if I get into IT by some miracle.

I'll propably pop more than few bottles in few weeks anyway by myself, with my luck I'm not even gettin' into IT

 

Horrible day, like epic ****

I have never wanted to punch an old lady in the mouth so much in my life.

Just some people are insane, the most stingy people i have ever met they won't buy a drink to save money they argue the price, complain its "impossible to eat" after eating everything but one chip so we have to replace everything they ate.

Then all spare shifts they offer to other people im the last person to get offered when i need the money, the job is crap really crap i think its time to move on.

 

before you move on, make sure you have a job waiting m8

 

So to make things better; I'm rolling around on a Samsung SyncMaster 170MB (Circa. 1999 built.)

It's a TFT panel, which isn't awful, but by god that LED backlight has yellowed! The colours wouldn't be half-bad if the whites weren't such a sharp shade of yellow!

Current max resolution (Through VGA. Ew.) is 1280x1024 @ 75hz.