Rant Bodily functions that bug the crap out of you?

Brief stint in the finnish army had me shaving 2 or 3 times a day to suppress the Irish in me. Finnish people seem barely able to grow facial fuzz until they are 30 I think. Every morning, after evening meal and then at night before headcount (would make morning shave easier). After any 5-day camp, I came back looking like a ginge-tinted Santa with an RK.

 

Someone mentioned large craps earlier in the thread. I just went in to the restroom this afternoon and the place reeked. I go into the stall and find a rather large log in the toilet. It flushed down no problem but the part that kinda disturbs me is there was no TP in the toilet. Did the guy not wipe or did he wipe and carry it out to the trash?

/shudder

 

I just shaved against the grain when I was doing my greek army stint That was for 3 mths basic training, the rest was a laugh pretty much, shaving every day, just not upside.

 

I'm just 15 years old and people confuse me with a 30 year old man because of my height, voice and beard...Am I an abortion of nature?

 

NEVER use a finger. You'll give yourself an ear infection.

 

how so??

 

Fingers are dirty, bacteria ridden bits of flesh. The general rule of thumb (geddit?) is to keep them out of body holes.

 

hmmm.... my hands usually seem clean to me.... :S

 

think you mean an abomination

 

Whenever im just about to drop off to sleep i always have a huge twitch, can't understand it, never been able to explain it.

its just at the point where my brain shuts down....unfortunately it then wakes me up....or if it doesn't, a sharp elbow from the missus into my ribs does.

I hate it. It used to wake me up at school though, so it was bad there, but i also drice forklifts and trucks, so in that sense when im bored at work it has literally been a life saver on more than one account...

Nic

 

Another thing I hate is when I am being sick. It doesn't matter if it's the watery stuff, or the meaty variety, it knocks the hell out of me as it comes out. It always finds it's way up my nose, so my eyes end up running and I can smell it for a while after. When I used to drink, I always ended up puking when I had a bad hangover, it's something I definitely don't miss after becoming teetotal. I used to get the all day hangovers from hell if I had a good night out.I think it's pretty cool that our bodies find ways to punish us for enjoying ourselves too much

 

I can't stand it when you go for pee and then, after being in dire need of said fluidic evacuations, your body says "Nope. I'm gonna make you stand here for 10 minutes before anything happens." Annoys the hell out of me.

As for constipation, just do what Mathematicians do, work it out with a pencil

 

My immaturity is showing itself by the amount of time i spent laughing at this. Dont know what is but the pure graphic description of toilet humour in the workplace sets me off in a fit of giggles XD

 

Insulin production or more specifically, the lack of it working properly. Pills twice a day at the age of 33 is not good fun

Some more, acid reflux, ear wax production, needing a pee as soon as I have run enough water to do the washing up every single bleeding time.

For those of you complaining about shaving and having a hard time of it, I used to be in the same boat. Hated doing it, left it about 5 days or so before I hacked away at it with the razor, hurt like hell with the pulling and the nicks. I got pointed to Badger and Blade, now I use a vintage double edged razor (kindly donated by my uncle who bought it in the 40s whilst on leave form the army), blades are still very easy to find (most chemists) and now I actually enjoy a shave.

 

I never usually throw up but only like mid day after a hardcore night never during that night always mid day the next day its weird

My grandad snores and it irritates the crap out of me he makes this bubbling noise down the bag of his throat like theres molten lava bubbling down there or something!

You know the times when you need to go number 2 really bad you go to the public toilet and its packed and as much as you try to stay silent as possible your body goes "NOPE! Im making sure everybody knows what you're doing!" I normally stay in the toilet till theres a good gap to escape without people knowing it was you

Also the toilets where the toilet paper is like tracing paper!? My dad said something horrible once "Before you know it you're rubbing over everwhere thighs and all" I remeber spitting milk half way across the room and laughing

as for shaving i don't have any problems sometimes i just wake up and not bother with anything just grap the razer and trim down clean (i hate totally going down till you're baby faced )

edit: thought of another one when you really need too pee then you go to a busy toilet where its one of those long things 6 guys standing in a row all peeing and you go and for the life of you can't pee even a drop then all the rest get creeped out because your just standing there hanging out and all

 

That would be a trough. They didn't bother me until one glorious, Metallica filled evening at the Reading Festival when, whilst standing there draining and minding my own business some random woman appeared standing next to me doing the exact same thing. That was a very very perplexing incident and not mention more than a little uncomfortable (i don't know why it was just the concept that made me a little edgy). After stuttering and babbling incoherently i found out that the festival organisers had been selling an item named the 'Pee-Mate' for about 20p which was a curious curved funnel device which was saddle shaped at the top to "fit the female form" and allow them pee standing up in urinals and troughs. The idea being to alleviate the monstrous queues which the ladies toilets always have.

Could have bloody warned me!

 

I just laughed my f***ing arse off! I would have had to look too..hahahaha

 

I sweat like the proverbial pig when it's humid, even if it's not that hot. Embarrassing to be working on a patient and dropping sweat beads on them.

 

You think twice a day is bad, try my dad. Parkinsons (yes yes all you 4chan/b readers gtfo), and he takes 3 a time, four times a day.

 

Anyone think it's a little disgusting that we so often breathe in air that was just in someone else's body? In offices, classrooms, stores, theaters, all over. Constantly sucking in all this air that went through someone's nose or mouth then down their windpipe and into their lungs and back out again. Some of the carbon dioxide might have even come from their bodies entirely! Quite disgusting.