Rant Bodily functions that bug the crap out of you?

THIS.

I hate shaving. I have acne so it's not uncommon to slice the top of a pimple off so that bleeds a lot. Worse, is no razor seems to last more than one shave for me. I can use them once and get a good close shave without much irritation but the next shave hurts and I get razor burn and it's just all kinds of bad. At the price of the refils or whatever you want to call them, this is horrible and has me seriously considering going the straight blade razor route.

There's not much else that really gets to me. I'm not grossed out or anything by loud coughing or clearing phlegm but I work in a call center and there's an older guy working here that does it very loud and often to the point that I can't hear whoever I'm talking to on the phone. Take that **** to the bathroom at least.

 

Word to the street yo. My sneeze damn near tears my face off if i try to be discrete about it.

I can't stand snoring. I would have no personal problem with it BUT it keeps me from sleeping.

 

Scheduled for a house tour later this evening with prospective roomates. I got some inside knowledge of the place and know there's a separate basement housing a bathroom and bedroom. I intend to run straight to it and run dibs once the realtor lets us in. It's one thing to hear about your friend having a great night, it's another thing entirely to hear him having a great night.

My sneezes come with a warning: the look of terror and helplessness on my face. They are often followed by a meager "Ow...".

 

Speaking of shaving; When I was back in the UK, working, I felt it was my duty to shave daily. I also thought this for the first few months of working in Greece. Now I only shave every third day, so it's shaved (after work mind), stubble, thick stuble, shaved again I really don't care tbh, and nobody's said anything so. (Sales assistant so not exactly a place that it would matter much in)

 

I do the phlegm thing; mainly when I first wake up.
It settles on my chest (I'm not a smoker but I was asthmatic) and I can't not yak it up as I get up.
When I was a lot younger I used to wake up and throw it all up (pretty grim eh) but I'm better now!

Other than that, I find pooing pretty long and laborious! There's so many parts to it.
The initial relief. Then you've got the get the last little bit out. Then you've got to clean up. Then you realise that there is some left so you shift that. This means you've got to wipe again. Then you've got to redress yourself; turn around and admire your triumph. Then off to wash your hands and done.
The sheer number of hours I must waste in a life time...

 

You don't flush?

 

wrong topic, oops my bad.

 

farts that have the approximate tone of a mortar being fired... I don't care if you fart, fart smell really doesn't bother me all that much (so long as it doesn't smell like bad eggs....), but I don't need to hear it from across the room after you put a massive one into MY chair....

 

I feel for you on this one, I get hay fever and I'm a multi sneezer, 1's not good enough for me, it's got to be 8 or 9 on the trot. And after number 5 it's gets boring and starts to hurt. This all happens about 10 times a day...I love winter and desserts.

 

Pretty much everything anyone does annoys me.

At work its a bit different because IDGAF if i get distracted because I only work 50% of the time anyways.

But at home almost everything drives me crazy. People eating food absurdly loud (now I eat in my room), laughing/talking/coughing/sneezing/anything LOUD.

Though I am glad I am living at home now compared to when I was in school. My roommate was horrible. A complete slob. He was so ridiculously loud and just plain rude. We had to sleep in the same room, and the other room was for our computers. So in the evenings we would be on our PC's and I would always be sitting nice and quiet while he was being a loud retard.



Also, shaving sucks! I could shave everyday but it's too annoying so I only do once a week, unless there is something important (there never is). I usually get razor burn. Though shaving in the shower seems to help. I dont use shaving cream either. I use soap/shampo/whatever i find in a bottle. I change blades once a month or two.




@Bindi, I remember that pic. You should find it and post it.

 

Shaving I find to be a huge hassle sometimes but I will never turn down getting a proper straight edge shave at a barber. That is genuine bliss.

Also on the flipside, I love throwing up when I'm sick.

 

I'm fairly sure you could kill this man in his sleep and chalk it up to humanitarian work.

 

Ugh, my neighbours do that ALL THE TIME

It's so loud i'd have not believed anyone else describing it it if i had not experienced it myself.

I'm still convinced the only way they can cough up and spit phlegm so loudly is by actively doing it as loudly as is physically possible.

The only time i've ever needed to spit like that is during an epic cold, and even then i can perfectly do it fine at a barely audible volume, my neighbours (possibly Romanian?) do it in their back garden at epic volumes 2-6 times a day somehow... raaaaage

 

The people that makes weird noises when they urinate.

 

People who whistle or try to chat when urinating.

FFS piss in silence, I don't want to know.

I don't know what it is about Taiwan too, but the Taiwanese haven't learnt the "stand one urinal apart" rule yet. It's just not cool.

 

THIS

 

Earwax.

Seriously, it bugs the hell out of me. We're told by the doctor not to stick things in your ear to clear the stuff out, so how the hell are you supposed to get rid of it? My ears create tons of the crap, and I'm forever getting nasty plugs that cause me to go deaf in whichever ear it's in.

I've tried drops, and that doesn't work. I've tried that Spray clean stuff (which is just salty water, apparently) and that just makes it worse.

The only thing seems to get rid of it is having it syringed out by the quack - but they're reluctant to do even that these days... Last time I had that done was out in Singapore after I got a plug after diving.

Now I just have to live with being half deaf until the thing works its way clear it own - which some time takes weeks.

 

Buy a Syringe + trust the wife to do it for you?

 

i use my pinky finger.

 

The best thing for earwax is warm olive oil.